1. briskly walking past broken glass you put your left hand down and wave it a little to warn the pedestrians behind.
2. driving down Barbur boulevard you absentmindedly speed up to draft off the car in front.
3. calling ‘on your left’ when passing a slow label-reader in the supermarket with your trolley
4. you consider bringing a bottle filled with Perpetuum on a long dissecting day in the lab for fear of bonking before the end of the day.
5. you debate endlessly before work trips about whether to bring your bike or instead rent once you get there.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The ‘El Luchador delivery device’
For the first time, the team tactics and their execution played a major role in the outcome of the race. We were 5 strong including the Neighbor, El Luchador, Ryan, and Andrew. At over 50 riders, the field was large. The only other team with a presence was BBC with large contingent of juniors and a few adult riders.
The course ran clockwise with a brisk headwind waiting for us in the final straight. The race was pretty quiet really with some attacks that were quickly reeled in. All the Hammer Velo boys had a go off the front at some point but nothing stuck. Soon we were into our final lap. I followed Ryan out of the finish straight taking the inside lane and close to the front. The Neighbor was nearby and El Luch. hovering thereabouts. With half a lap to go with some strong riding, Ryan found himself at the front of the pack directly ahead of the Neighbor, myself and El Luch in a paceline – HV was leading the charge like a big ugly hair sticking out of a mole. Ryan kept on going and passed the lone rider off the front. Then Neighbor took over and with a few words of encouragement really stepped on the gas. The pack, off El Luch’s left shoulder, was under a lot of pressure and no other riders could join us. As we rounded the final bend, the Neighbor pulled out of the way, gassed. I then took off, legs a pasty blur, and I think was in the lead for a short while. Exact details are lost in an oxygen-deprived fog. Then El Luch rounded me and took off with about 200ft to go only to be beaten on the line by another rider.
We had timed the ‘El Luchador delivery device’ to perfection and had got him in good shape to contest the finish. In my opinion, the Neighbor’s long, strong pull was the decisive one and took us a long way towards securing second place. I was beaten into 5th place by a BBC rider. Although delighted by such a high finish, my giddiness was tempered by the realization that the BBC rider was 12 years old! I had been ‘tweened’.
It was a good day on the track for us – everyone did their part. It was the best example of teamwork I have experienced so far with this team.
The course ran clockwise with a brisk headwind waiting for us in the final straight. The race was pretty quiet really with some attacks that were quickly reeled in. All the Hammer Velo boys had a go off the front at some point but nothing stuck. Soon we were into our final lap. I followed Ryan out of the finish straight taking the inside lane and close to the front. The Neighbor was nearby and El Luch. hovering thereabouts. With half a lap to go with some strong riding, Ryan found himself at the front of the pack directly ahead of the Neighbor, myself and El Luch in a paceline – HV was leading the charge like a big ugly hair sticking out of a mole. Ryan kept on going and passed the lone rider off the front. Then Neighbor took over and with a few words of encouragement really stepped on the gas. The pack, off El Luch’s left shoulder, was under a lot of pressure and no other riders could join us. As we rounded the final bend, the Neighbor pulled out of the way, gassed. I then took off, legs a pasty blur, and I think was in the lead for a short while. Exact details are lost in an oxygen-deprived fog. Then El Luch rounded me and took off with about 200ft to go only to be beaten on the line by another rider.
We had timed the ‘El Luchador delivery device’ to perfection and had got him in good shape to contest the finish. In my opinion, the Neighbor’s long, strong pull was the decisive one and took us a long way towards securing second place. I was beaten into 5th place by a BBC rider. Although delighted by such a high finish, my giddiness was tempered by the realization that the BBC rider was 12 years old! I had been ‘tweened’.
It was a good day on the track for us – everyone did their part. It was the best example of teamwork I have experienced so far with this team.
Monday, April 12, 2010
The King's Valley disaster – how, why and what!
WARNING, WARNING – unusually high number of scientific jokes contained in this report. Do not read if you have liver damage, are a serious cyclist, or may become a serious cyclist. Your doctor can conduct a simple test if you are at risk.
April 12th, 2010
Dear Editor of ‘Crap Cycling’,
Please accept our paper on the analysis of Sprint Wombat's King's Valley Road race. We feel that our findings will be of interest to the wider cycling community and our hope is that with publication in ‘Crap Cycling’ others will learn from his mistakes. In accordance with the international nature of the Journal we have used SI units throughout.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Dr. Cannon Dale, Dr. Van Iller and Sir Velo.
Lactic Threshold Laboratory
Institute of Advanced Cycology
Bonktown, OR
Title: The King's Valley disaster – how, why and what!
Study Aim: To dissect the 2010 Kings Valley (KV) road race of Sprint Wombat (‘the subject’). His self-proclaimed goal was to support more talented Hammer Velo team mates; Driveby, El Luchador, The Kid, Mr Smith, The Neighbor, The Quiet Achiever, and Ryan (no known alias), and finish as high as possible with a minimum of errors. This paper is based on observation, satellite imagery, mental telepathy and interviews with the subject and race officials. It analyzes the known knowns (but not the unknown unknowns - we know what they are) and attempts to understand what went wrong.
Method: The subject (aka ‘The Wombat’) rode his bike around rural Polk County (Oregon, USA) for 93 km (56 miles) under OBRA race conditions. The subject rode a 2010 Cannondale CAAD 9 (54 cm) modified with fancy titanium time trial seat-post and saddle. 50/34 x 11/23.
Results: 47th out of >60 (actually number of finishers will never be known because of mass quitting and at least one rider who took a wrong turn and nearly ended up on 99W).
Discussion: With input from a well meaning, non-cycling State Champion, a well-crafted team plan was formulated. The ‘body mass index (BMI)-challenged’ were to stay close to the front of the pack to control the pace. The plan was for these BMI-challenged individuals to work later on in the race protect the 4th percentile BMIers (light fourckers) for the final sprint. The subject totally ignored this plan for no good reason and settled mid pack for the first half lap. This turned out to be a grave error because of the narrow road, large pack and large quanta of inexperienced riders who braked at every opportunity. There was little room to pass. The wind on the back half of the course was formidable but not an issue for the ‘mid-pack’ plodders.
The 25 km (15 mile) point marked the hill that what would become the finish line. At a mean grade of 6.02 (+/- 0.56)% the hill was of modest steepness and about 1 km in length. The subject was in 41st position at this point. Due to his high BMI, the subject slowly drifted back through the pack at -2 m/sec. This backward motion is described in the ‘regression analysis’ plot shown in Figure 1. Within seconds, the subject was ‘off-the-back’ and losing ground at a rate of -5 m/sec. The subject was observed to repeatedly shout at his legs “shut the f*** up, legs”.
As the subject breached the hill he placed his arms in the ‘drops’ and proceeded to increase cadence to 95 rpm. With the tailwind and downward gradient, the subject increased velocity to 43.4 kph in an attempt to rejoin the pack. Within 3 km the subject caught a strong rider from Portobello. Together, they worked to bridge the gap with the pack, passing riders at regular intervals. They gained ground on the pack on the flats at a rate of 10 m/min but lost ground on the climbs and in the wind at a rate of 5 m/min. After working together for 16.84 km they ceased the chase and ‘sat up’. Mr Smith, who had been chasing the subject for a time then caught up and they rode together discussing their options still with 40.09 km to complete the race. The long-range microphone picked up the subject uttering the phrase “mate,……. I’m buggered if I’m going to get another DN-friggin-F”. Mr Smith then replied “although my ass really, really hurts I’m with you all the way, Jay-me”. At this point it turned into a training ride and the subject and Mr Smith rode the rest of the way, taking turns to ‘pull’ each other. Although the final kms (miles) were traversed with 20% lower intensity than something faster, they appeared to be pleased to finish in the top 50. At the end of the race the subject was overheard to remark that his mouth was “as dry as a dead dingos’ donger” and sought rehydration assistance.
In summary, the subject rode poorly and was positioned too far back in the pack to cope with the finish line hill on lap 1. Consequently, the subject was dropped and failed to influence the race in any way at all. We hypothesize that with a more advanced position at the start of the hill, the subject would have been safely cocooned in the pack-womb sucking his thumb. We predict that he would have survived to deeper into the race.
Conclusion: STAY AT THE FRONT 95 (+/- 7.0)% OF THE TIME
April 12th, 2010
Dear Editor of ‘Crap Cycling’,
Please accept our paper on the analysis of Sprint Wombat's King's Valley Road race. We feel that our findings will be of interest to the wider cycling community and our hope is that with publication in ‘Crap Cycling’ others will learn from his mistakes. In accordance with the international nature of the Journal we have used SI units throughout.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Dr. Cannon Dale, Dr. Van Iller and Sir Velo.
Lactic Threshold Laboratory
Institute of Advanced Cycology
Bonktown, OR
Title: The King's Valley disaster – how, why and what!
Study Aim: To dissect the 2010 Kings Valley (KV) road race of Sprint Wombat (‘the subject’). His self-proclaimed goal was to support more talented Hammer Velo team mates; Driveby, El Luchador, The Kid, Mr Smith, The Neighbor, The Quiet Achiever, and Ryan (no known alias), and finish as high as possible with a minimum of errors. This paper is based on observation, satellite imagery, mental telepathy and interviews with the subject and race officials. It analyzes the known knowns (but not the unknown unknowns - we know what they are) and attempts to understand what went wrong.
Method: The subject (aka ‘The Wombat’) rode his bike around rural Polk County (Oregon, USA) for 93 km (56 miles) under OBRA race conditions. The subject rode a 2010 Cannondale CAAD 9 (54 cm) modified with fancy titanium time trial seat-post and saddle. 50/34 x 11/23.
Results: 47th out of >60 (actually number of finishers will never be known because of mass quitting and at least one rider who took a wrong turn and nearly ended up on 99W).
Discussion: With input from a well meaning, non-cycling State Champion, a well-crafted team plan was formulated. The ‘body mass index (BMI)-challenged’ were to stay close to the front of the pack to control the pace. The plan was for these BMI-challenged individuals to work later on in the race protect the 4th percentile BMIers (light fourckers) for the final sprint. The subject totally ignored this plan for no good reason and settled mid pack for the first half lap. This turned out to be a grave error because of the narrow road, large pack and large quanta of inexperienced riders who braked at every opportunity. There was little room to pass. The wind on the back half of the course was formidable but not an issue for the ‘mid-pack’ plodders.
The 25 km (15 mile) point marked the hill that what would become the finish line. At a mean grade of 6.02 (+/- 0.56)% the hill was of modest steepness and about 1 km in length. The subject was in 41st position at this point. Due to his high BMI, the subject slowly drifted back through the pack at -2 m/sec. This backward motion is described in the ‘regression analysis’ plot shown in Figure 1. Within seconds, the subject was ‘off-the-back’ and losing ground at a rate of -5 m/sec. The subject was observed to repeatedly shout at his legs “shut the f*** up, legs”.
As the subject breached the hill he placed his arms in the ‘drops’ and proceeded to increase cadence to 95 rpm. With the tailwind and downward gradient, the subject increased velocity to 43.4 kph in an attempt to rejoin the pack. Within 3 km the subject caught a strong rider from Portobello. Together, they worked to bridge the gap with the pack, passing riders at regular intervals. They gained ground on the pack on the flats at a rate of 10 m/min but lost ground on the climbs and in the wind at a rate of 5 m/min. After working together for 16.84 km they ceased the chase and ‘sat up’. Mr Smith, who had been chasing the subject for a time then caught up and they rode together discussing their options still with 40.09 km to complete the race. The long-range microphone picked up the subject uttering the phrase “mate,……. I’m buggered if I’m going to get another DN-friggin-F”. Mr Smith then replied “although my ass really, really hurts I’m with you all the way, Jay-me”. At this point it turned into a training ride and the subject and Mr Smith rode the rest of the way, taking turns to ‘pull’ each other. Although the final kms (miles) were traversed with 20% lower intensity than something faster, they appeared to be pleased to finish in the top 50. At the end of the race the subject was overheard to remark that his mouth was “as dry as a dead dingos’ donger” and sought rehydration assistance.
In summary, the subject rode poorly and was positioned too far back in the pack to cope with the finish line hill on lap 1. Consequently, the subject was dropped and failed to influence the race in any way at all. We hypothesize that with a more advanced position at the start of the hill, the subject would have been safely cocooned in the pack-womb sucking his thumb. We predict that he would have survived to deeper into the race.
Conclusion: STAY AT THE FRONT 95 (+/- 7.0)% OF THE TIME
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
PIR, oooh LaLa
The pressure was on for me at PIR after failing to finish three out of my last four races (dropped, bonked and crashed :)). As I was riding down to PIR it was clear that last weekend’s crash had damaged my brakes and it looked like the rear brake cable had been stretched. The brake lever was sticky causing the brakes to say on. I would have to deal with this later. Met Brad along the way and chatted about what to expect since it was his first Big-Boy race (triathlons DO NOT count). We were well warmed up for the start. Joined by four other HV 4/5s for the race; RM, AL, KL, RR. Looking around at the start line – it looked like the local crèche has fielded a team…with many young BBC racers. Reckon there were probably a few 14yr olds in the mix as well. Also, the race was going to be very short at 6 laps – I was used to the 14-16 lap masters fields on Monday nights. Not sure how I would go in the final sprint against a bunch of youngsters and 20-somethings in a short race.
In the first lap Brad, RM and I were at the front of the race exchanging pulls. This lasted only a short while before other riders took over, perhaps not comfortable at our controlling the pace. The race was mostly without incident - I tried to get away at one point but was unsuccessful. The main worry was a couple of the younger riders using their brakes too much and driving erratically – they had to be avoided or watched carefully if ahead.
At the start of the last lap, four of us set up a train that took the inside line. The goal was to deliver the fourth rider to the front with about 100m to the line. But for now, it was important to stay within striking distance of the front and conserve energy for the upcoming lactic slapfest. I was sitting third behind the Mexican and Brad with Rich immediately behind me. AL was trapped a couple of riders wide and KL was lurking somewhere no doubt gathering himself for the sprint. The pace quickened as we approached the final bend. A Pacific Blue rider went very early then, as I recall, RM went all out as BF and I struggled to keep up, I passed BF and (fairly quickly) RR passed me on the inside. Hah…….we had delivered RR about 300m before the line (sorry about that, Rich!). AL and KL were ahead of us at this point as well. I had nothing in my legs for the sprint and sat up a long way out and everyone besides Brad and myself finished very high. I cannot honestly say that our HV train was entirely successful. Looking back, I was the weak link and the one not able to provide much of a lead out for Rich. The positive, however, is that we DID get organized – something to build upon for future PIR races.
And I did finish the race…….
In the first lap Brad, RM and I were at the front of the race exchanging pulls. This lasted only a short while before other riders took over, perhaps not comfortable at our controlling the pace. The race was mostly without incident - I tried to get away at one point but was unsuccessful. The main worry was a couple of the younger riders using their brakes too much and driving erratically – they had to be avoided or watched carefully if ahead.
At the start of the last lap, four of us set up a train that took the inside line. The goal was to deliver the fourth rider to the front with about 100m to the line. But for now, it was important to stay within striking distance of the front and conserve energy for the upcoming lactic slapfest. I was sitting third behind the Mexican and Brad with Rich immediately behind me. AL was trapped a couple of riders wide and KL was lurking somewhere no doubt gathering himself for the sprint. The pace quickened as we approached the final bend. A Pacific Blue rider went very early then, as I recall, RM went all out as BF and I struggled to keep up, I passed BF and (fairly quickly) RR passed me on the inside. Hah…….we had delivered RR about 300m before the line (sorry about that, Rich!). AL and KL were ahead of us at this point as well. I had nothing in my legs for the sprint and sat up a long way out and everyone besides Brad and myself finished very high. I cannot honestly say that our HV train was entirely successful. Looking back, I was the weak link and the one not able to provide much of a lead out for Rich. The positive, however, is that we DID get organized – something to build upon for future PIR races.
And I did finish the race…….
Monday, April 5, 2010
Another glorious fail
Since Tom's baseball game was rained out I decided last minute to go down to Salem for the Willamette University Criterium. Not sure whether other HV folk would be there. Turns out that Andrew, Kolben and Jamie B had similar thoughts. Squeezed in a 15 min warm-up on the trainer then it was off to the course. The 0.7 mile rectangle-shaped circuit was rough in places particularly the first LH turn after the start. The road was rough enough for the wheels to skip out on occasion - must remember to be careful on this turn. Also there was a zebra crossing after turn 2, which could be tricky when accelerating out of the turn. About 45 Cat 4/5s started the race. Lots of familiar faces : Kyle and Tyler from CCX Clydes, Eric from masters 4 and a couple of others.
The race was to be 35 mins in length and three sprint Primes were on offer as well on designated laps. The race got underway. Kolben and I stayed pretty close to the front for the first few laps. The pace was not that high and a couple of breakway attempts were made. I bided my time and decided not to invest too much energy in working at the front. The conditions were atrocious - cold (around 40oF) and wet, wet rain. Everyone was soaked within minutes and cold to the bone. As 'well-insulated' as I am - I too was feeling the cold and regretted the decision to wear only bib-shorts and not to cover my legs. The field slowly warmed up as the race went on.
Then after about 8 laps Jamie B went off the front. I was a great effort and lasted for about 2 laps. I had been lurking in about 15th place but in light of the 'blocking' discussion stimulated by the Cat 4 POC race last week, I decided to 'suck it and see' and powered around the field and settled on the front. I tried to reduce speed slighly while at the same time give the impression of pedaling hard. This was difficult to do. After about another half a lap I was overtaken on both sides by, what seemed to be, a swarm of angry mozzies. Jamie B was slowing and had been joined by another rider. Then the bell sounded for the sprint lap. I was feeling pretty strong and on the back stretch decided to 'make a bid' for the Prime and surged to the front with a blinding burst of acceleration. I was clear and kept on going - legs ablur. 'Round two more corners and then the long straitaway to the finish line. I was able to hold off an approaching rider and, to my astonishment, claim the sprint Prime. Spent, I waited for the field to catch up. Looking back I think that Jamie B's move off the front softened the field enough for me to stay away on my sprint. We should use this as a deliberate strategy in other similar situations.
Then Jamie B came up alongside and told me to drop in behind him - 4 laps to go now. Kolben was nearby and Andrew was ahead, embedded in the first few places. The pace had quickened now. Jamie was doing a great job of protecting me and Kolben was either behind or alongside and Andrew still ahead. The pack was together now.
1 lap to go. Going into the first corner after the start/finish (the rough one, remember) one of the riders washed out and slid in slow motion into my path - I went wider and wider and eventually ran out of road. My bike connected with the fallen riders bike and the sidewalk at about the same time and I went down with about 5 others at about 25 kph. I made the mistake of NOT taking an inside line in the last few laps of a crit. I dusted myself off and inspected the damage. For my trouble I was painted with roadrash on R knee, elbow and hip. The wet conditions saved me from a more severe scraping.
With the fall not too far from the finish I was in a good position to see the riders sprint for the line. Kolben scored 6th and Andrew 8th with Jamie B further back. Great effort from the boys. I won $20 for the sprint Prime which lessened the disappointment of falling (on the last freakin' lap). Despite this is had a blast - it was fun trying to influence the race through team tactics.
So for HV - 6th, 8th and $20. Can't sneeze at that!
The race was to be 35 mins in length and three sprint Primes were on offer as well on designated laps. The race got underway. Kolben and I stayed pretty close to the front for the first few laps. The pace was not that high and a couple of breakway attempts were made. I bided my time and decided not to invest too much energy in working at the front. The conditions were atrocious - cold (around 40oF) and wet, wet rain. Everyone was soaked within minutes and cold to the bone. As 'well-insulated' as I am - I too was feeling the cold and regretted the decision to wear only bib-shorts and not to cover my legs. The field slowly warmed up as the race went on.
Then after about 8 laps Jamie B went off the front. I was a great effort and lasted for about 2 laps. I had been lurking in about 15th place but in light of the 'blocking' discussion stimulated by the Cat 4 POC race last week, I decided to 'suck it and see' and powered around the field and settled on the front. I tried to reduce speed slighly while at the same time give the impression of pedaling hard. This was difficult to do. After about another half a lap I was overtaken on both sides by, what seemed to be, a swarm of angry mozzies. Jamie B was slowing and had been joined by another rider. Then the bell sounded for the sprint lap. I was feeling pretty strong and on the back stretch decided to 'make a bid' for the Prime and surged to the front with a blinding burst of acceleration. I was clear and kept on going - legs ablur. 'Round two more corners and then the long straitaway to the finish line. I was able to hold off an approaching rider and, to my astonishment, claim the sprint Prime. Spent, I waited for the field to catch up. Looking back I think that Jamie B's move off the front softened the field enough for me to stay away on my sprint. We should use this as a deliberate strategy in other similar situations.
Then Jamie B came up alongside and told me to drop in behind him - 4 laps to go now. Kolben was nearby and Andrew was ahead, embedded in the first few places. The pace had quickened now. Jamie was doing a great job of protecting me and Kolben was either behind or alongside and Andrew still ahead. The pack was together now.
1 lap to go. Going into the first corner after the start/finish (the rough one, remember) one of the riders washed out and slid in slow motion into my path - I went wider and wider and eventually ran out of road. My bike connected with the fallen riders bike and the sidewalk at about the same time and I went down with about 5 others at about 25 kph. I made the mistake of NOT taking an inside line in the last few laps of a crit. I dusted myself off and inspected the damage. For my trouble I was painted with roadrash on R knee, elbow and hip. The wet conditions saved me from a more severe scraping.
With the fall not too far from the finish I was in a good position to see the riders sprint for the line. Kolben scored 6th and Andrew 8th with Jamie B further back. Great effort from the boys. I won $20 for the sprint Prime which lessened the disappointment of falling (on the last freakin' lap). Despite this is had a blast - it was fun trying to influence the race through team tactics.
So for HV - 6th, 8th and $20. Can't sneeze at that!
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